The broke girl guide to personal style
If you only once were the person that said “If I had more money people would see how much style I have” then this essay is for you - to make it very short. And how could you not think or say something like this when you’re socialised in capitalism. In an industry that fed you with narratives that your worth has a price tag and comes with a material investment only the selected can achieve. What if I tell you that this narrative tells you a false story about the beauty of being broken? That being broke is a *ka-chingg* ble$$ing and not a burden?
Being Broke
In our society, the narrative of "broke” not only indicates having no money but implies a bankruptcy on a personal level, too. Having no financial resources excludes you from your environment, from society and you don’t feel as represented as you want to. Broke became more a feeling (mind you, that a feeling is an emotion with a narrative) than a bank statement. It’s very important to understand that for personal style, the number on your bank account doesn’t play a role. We will elaborate on that in a sec…
What does it mean to be broke in a holistic way? I interpret it more in a sense of fragmentation and a misunderstanding of what value is. Both imply the option for change and offer a lot of opportunities. The state of “brokenness” isn’t an expression of your value but an invitation for puzzling. And when I wrote my eBook guide for personal style I didn’t think about a list of “Must haves” I thought about my soul and what she needs in the orbit of fashion that has nothing to do with spending money. After a conversation I had with my best friend who offers personalized japan trips for people in leadership positions I remembered the kintsugi (金継ぎ) principle, which translates literally to golden joinery and describes the mindset shift of what a blessing a state of “brokenness” can be at it’s best.
The three principles
Kintsugi is deeply connected to several japanese philosophical and aesthetic concepts, primarily:
Wabi-sabi: This aesthetic finds beauty in imperfection, asymmetry, and the natural wear and tear that comes with age and use. Kintsugi views the breakage and repair as part of the object’s unique history, making it even more beautiful and valuable than its original, “perfect” form.
A great example of this principle in your wardrobe is a well worn in leather jacket or pair of pants. The shift here lies in “I own this piece for so many years I should let go of it as it’s surely out of fashion” to “Wow, this piece hold so much history I am glad I could persevere it and I will cherish it as long as I can”
Mottainai: This expresses regret for waste and encourages conservation and finding value in existing items, rather than simply discarding and replacing them.
It invites you to a narrative shift from constantly buying new things in order to feel valuable. The perfectionism of being up to date is replaced by heritage and appreciation for oddity and time.
Mushin: This relates to acceptance of change and fate, as the brokenness is an aspect of existence to be embraced, not concealed.
If you would never feel broken - or as an equivalent something is missing in your wardrobe - you wouldn’t experience wholeness and a deliciously fitting outfit either. It’s spectrum and you finding yourself in the process of balancing on this spectrum instead of holding onto balance as a constant, is what keeps your wardrobe evolving and interesting. The constant pendulum creates momentum and keeps you excited and curious.
Through this practice, the golden “scars” become a physical expression of resilience, telling a story of damage, survival, and rebirth, and suggesting that the object aka the person who lives in this wardrobe is stronger and more beautiful for having been broken.
Taste and Personal Style
This is where things get juicy because we have to make a distinct difference between personal style and taste. Taste is something we all have in this analogy and people are born with different settings of access, so to say. Developing a personal style is creating a broader tool box for getting access to your source aka your taste aka your soul. Getting to know your taste can only be experienced by expressing it and trying different tools to get access. For some people that is more cooking than dressing, for some it’s more art or music or other fields of hobbies. That’s why I always say that personal style is not only attached to fashion but your whole life: how you cut your veggies, brush your teeth, design your apartment and talk to people.
Here are some guiding statements:
The discernment: Trends are loud. Taste is quiet. Trends want approval. Taste wants recognition.
The embodiment: If it relaxes your nervous system it’s your soul aka taste. If it actives comparison it’s ego aka trends.
The essentials: The Ego collects and the soul curates. Taste becomes clearer in less, not more.
The repetition: Taste reveals itself through patterns over time. It is already present.
The recognition: Ego wants to be seen. Soul wants to be known. Taste doesn’t ask for permission.
The referentiality: Your personal style references your taste not the outside world.
The practice: Styling becomes a ritual. Trends impress the ego. Style expresses the self. Taste reveals the soul.
In my eBook I mentioned earlier I collected my ways, tools and tips for you to make the same experience. It sounds abstract because it is so woven into a daily practice. It’s not one big revelation, a book you read or an accident. It’s the small habits that create personal style from a place of taste and soul and not from trends and ego.
x
Lea
